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发布于:2018-5-17 13:02:11  访问:1 次 回复:0 篇
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Self Help Book On Intimate Marriage - Is Often A Marriage Counselor Better?
While the opinion of your partner`s family and friends isn`t the defining factor regarding the validity of your relationship, you do need to consider any problems as potential obstacles to true bliss. If your partner`s mother, for example, is always berating you, you might have to deal with this for the rest of your life. Even worse, if your partner never stands up for you, can you live with that?
Many people forget that the proposal is simply just one moment in which your lives will change forever. And while this moment is beautiful and timeless, you need to think more about what happens after your partner accepts a ring. It`s important to show your significant other that you have been thinking about the future and not just about the proposal. This is probably the most romantic gesture of all and it tells your partner that you are in this for the long haul.
The problem is that sometimes it just doesn`t work. My parents, for instance, tried like 5 different rebuild marriage counselors over the course of ~10 years only to end up getting divorced in the end. I don`t know how accurate it is, but I`ve read that the marriage therapy industry as a whole has an approximate 50% - 60% success rate, which certainly isn`t terrible, but...Certainly a far cry from `guaranteed`.
Doing a modern marriage successfully is more difficult and demanding than safely flying a large commercial jetliner. Those guys and gals that fly you and me across the friendly skies may love flying, but I bet you wouldn`t get on board with them if they told you they thought love was enough to get you to your destination safely.
This is a good time to critically evaluate the emotions and thinking that led to your infidelity. Try to identify any problems or unhappiness prior to starting the affair. It`s a time for self-assessment, not just marriage assessment. Was the affair an attempt to \"cure\" these feelings or avoid them? Did you put too much blame on your marriage for your unhappiness? How are you going to address these problems in a healthy way? These areas will need to be examined before your marriage can move forward. If you skip this step in the healing process, your failing marriage will be in peril.
Does marriage counseling work? With so many marriages in trouble the couples therapy business has to be booming right, and still it seems like everyone is getting divorced anyway. Sadly most couples just get divorced without ever seeing a marriage therapist. Because there are so many couples not seeking help, most marriage therapists work in other areas of mental health, and don`t actually do much if any marriage counseling.
Use this example: being in a relationship is great. If you only feel around the interior of the relationship, you create stagnation - until you step outside the relationship to work on the boundaries. The boundaries are rarely formed from inside. This is what couples counseling does, and this is why I think all couples should engage in this kind of relationship work regularly.
Well, if you pay attention, you might notice that the voice in your head telling you to get your act in gear is pretty harsh. He`s probably calling you names...lazy, stupid, stuff like that. He figures if he just kicks your keister hard enough you`ll listen. He`s tough, but it never works.
In the event your partner is sincerely working hard to change their conduct as well as becoming much more transparent in their communication with you then by all means embrace their attempts. While they bear the responsibility you should not permit the whole burden of repairing this marriage right after your spouse cheating to fall squarely on their shoulders. Moreover your husband or wife may give up and even revert to their old way of life. When this happens you`re right back where you started or perhaps much worse.
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